TOPSYTURVY - "YVRUTYSPOT" (INDEPENDENT)
There used to be a review here.
Not too long afterwards I got a pretty abusive email from Sonny Harrison, the person behind Topsyturvy. I don't have that anymore.
About 9 months later I received another email (boldface mine):
I write to you because I have problems with a bad review on Metal-E-Zine.
It has been there for 10 months and I took it with a smile since my fans arenít Metal fans.
I have nothing against bad reviews nor metal music. I like metal music.
My problem is that people are questioning me about the speculations included in this review.
Some think I'm a European who can record an album in few days on analog tape!!.. etc....
And there's the EXTREM disgust side of the review that is simply hard to talk about.
I asked my lawyer and he suggested to contact Metal-E-Zine before spending any money on procedures.
Doing music is very expensive and time consuming so I'd greatly appreciate if we could work-out a solution without having us fighting against each others.
Following are some statements from the review and ... corrections.
"Imagine a basic drum kit and a Korean brand guitar and a tape recorder"
(I USE AN ALESIS DRUM MODULE, YAMAHA GUITAR WITH DIGITECH GEARS AND 24-BITS PROTOOL-RECORDING SYSTEM!!!)
"after his babblings have been translated by his nearest relative who hasn't yet shot himself in the head twice"
(I'M CANADIAN, I DON'T TRANSLATE MY LYRICS!!!)
"Imagine a man with the mental abilities of a toddler, perhaps, but still, if you stretch the meaning of the word to the maximum any dictionary would allow..."
(I WON'T ARGUE ON THIS STATEMENT. PLEASE BE PROFESSIONAL)
"Two days later, this one-man band has "Yvrutyspot" ready to send to unsuspecting label"
(FOR YEARS I WORKED ON THIS ALBUM WITH MORE THAT 45$ INVESTED!! PLEASE GUYS, THERE'S A LIFE BEHIND IT!)
"Yvrutyspot" is worse than the sonic equivalent of what the cat dragged in"
(IT'S NOT HEAVY-METAL MUSIC,!!! IT SHOULDN'T BE REVIEWED BY AN METAL FANATIC!!)
"Sonny Harrisson is the one-man band in question. I think I would rather have liked the things he's been up to in his bedroom to remain unknown to the world at large."
(THERE'S FANS FOR EVERY KIND OF MUSIC ON OUR PLANET. PLEASE, DON'T REVIEW MUSIC STYLES THAT YOU HATE)
"he cannot play the drums, he cannot compose, he cannot sing, he cannot produce or mix, in fact he can't even think up a halfway decent band name."
(HEY, THE ALBUM AS BEEN PRODUCED, MIXED AND THE BAND NAME HAS A DEEP MEENING OVER ALL THE ARTWORK!!)
"This is the kind of CD I wouldn't even dare to use as a beer coaster, for fear of the beer somehow going off"
(PLEASE. Don't use it at all in ANY ways)
With all respects,
This email brought upon me the dawning suspicion that Sonny is no older than 12 ("WITH MORE THAN 45$ INVESTED!"), yet to be on the safe side I did decide to react seriously:
Do you know what sarcasm is? I doubt if you do. I think most readers will understand that none of the things I wrote in the review are based on actual fact. Review contain opinions, and opinions are things you will have to learn to live with. I doubt very much that you will be able to do anything legally, and in fact I doubt you have a lawyer at all. No lawyer worth his salt would think of sueing someone for writing a bad review.
Somewhere along the line *you* sent the CD to me to have it reviewed by a metal review magazine. If you think it shouldn't have been reviewed by a metal fan, then why send it to me? Your music brought out the worst, the harshest, the almost sadistic side in me. On your site you reacted that "[my] inconscience inspires [you]"...but I guess that's not really true, is it?
(By the way, 'inconscience' means 'unconsciousness', i.e. having passed out. I think you meant 'ignorance')
I fully understand that you feel wronged by the review, no matter how just I feel about it. I am sure you're a reasonably nice guy who just happens to think he can make music, and who happens to think I take kindly to being threatened with legal action. I will remove the link to the review, not because of your feeble threat, but because I hope it may restore some of your sense of equilibrium. I'd hate to be indirectly responsible for an even worse CD to be released in the future.
Today, freedom of speech has been flushed down the toilet for your particular needs. A good way to prevent this from ever happening again is to simply never inflict upon the world an album like you made. If you do, however, I am confident you won't bother sending me a review CD again.
If you can't stand the heat, don't play with fire.
Review was written August 2003. Additions were made June 2004.
Click here if you're crazy enough to think you could possible find something to enjoy yourself at the Official Topsyturvy site
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