STEVE RYNIAK - "DEAR ALICE...REJECTEC LETTERS TO ADVICE COLUMNS FROM COMPLETELY INSANE IDIOTS" (MUSE WORLD MEDIA)

 

There is no doubt a target audience for this booklet, a fictional (and obviously so) collection of crazy letters to advice columns. There's some 75 of them, and for a while I thought of including one here so you would get the general gist and style of the booklet.

I thought I might perhaps include the funniest one. However, it quickly became evident that none of them are funny to anyone mentally aged 12 or up. Had they been seriously un-funny, perhaps te booklet would have served some purpose, but they are just plain bad, very uninspired, hammering home a point until there's no nail left, decidedly unsubtle, and a pure waste of paper. I think the author should be personally sued for having caused the useless chopping down of multiple perfectly functioning oxygen producers. And his publisher, too.

The worst thing is that the publisher might put these lines right next to, "If you people send me another damn copy of that book, I will (censored) break your fu%*ing face," quoted on the back cover.

Tripe.

Perhaps one sample will do, anyway:

"Dear Alice,

I was visiting my Uncle's farm in Sporkville last week and had sex with one of his chickens and now I think it's pregnant. Plus I think it may have given me the herpes. Will I have to pay child support?

O.L., Cedar Rapids, IA."

Released 2000, ISBN 1-930213-00-X

RK

 

Written October 2000

 

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